Toad Jam

Toad lesson #1: TOADS POOP. A lot.
Last night Brett (boy 2) became best buds with a fat toad he named "grumpy". Boys and toads have a long history together. But my son is unusually attached to his. Here's how our night went....

Setting: living room, hot wheels car track, two boys, one toad, 4 hot wheels. Put them all in a bag, shake it up and you get one very traumatized toad who now has an unhealthy fear of hot wheels.

Meanwhile: Boy 2 is running a sink full of water in the bathroom in order to give toad a bath. Bath is given, toad is dried off with mom's good bath towel.

Boy 2 wants to eat a piece of freshly baked banana bread...wants mom to catch a fly so toad can also have snack. Mom catches fly...gives to boy 2...tells boy 2 to wash hands before eating banana bread.

Dad is working on important paperwork. Has eyes in back of head. Sees boy 2 running upstairs. Tells boy 2 to stop in his tracks. Tells boy 2 to drop his pants. Boy 2 is hiding toad in pajama pants to sneak him up to room. Mom, in awe, asks dad how he knew that. Dad says "I've done it all....I KNOW."

Boy 2 is forced to keep toad in mom's new rubbermaid clothes container purchased for winter clothes. Winter clothes are now stacked in living room and toad is living in container. Boy 2 goes to bed very distraught over not being able to sleep with toad.

Mom tucks in children while boy 2 writhes in despair saying "my heart is broken, I can still feel him moving in my hands, I miss my toad, why, oh why can't he sleep with me". Mom tries not to wet herself laughing. But assures boy 2 that toad is safe and he can pick up where he left off in the morning.

Morning comes. Boy leaps out of bed to check on toad. Comes running in saying "Mom! Grumpy pooped! Looks like he pooped out another toad!" Boy 2 is surprisingly accurate. Grumpy was backed up like sour fish and pooped a large, very large, brown pile that eerily resembled another toad.

Grumpy is now an official Neis.

Question: Is mommy insane?
Eight ball says: Absolutely!