Snakes, Pigs and Uber deodorant

Okay, I'm back. So what do we talk about today? Oh, I know...let's start with snakes, shall we? Let me set the scene for you....8:30pm. Travis arrives home from spending the entire day with his bud Grady. Grady's mom has taken the boys to the local pet store. While at said pet store, Travis experiences the thrill of holding a young King snake. Travis has now named this snake Oreo. Travis wants the snake. Travis says he just has to have this snake and he'll never ask for another pet ever again. Mommy asks Travis how big the snake will get. And so it goes for a good 15 minutes. Mommy says ask Daddy. Daddy says, and I quote "the only good snake is a dead snake". Shot down. Waterworks start. Daddy still says no. At the end of an hour, it is decided we'll get a puppy. Kids should be lawyers. So, it's 7a.m. this morning. Morning hugs/kisses around the room. Jim says, "I didn't sleep well last night". I say, "why? stress?". Jim says "no. pigs." (Let me insert here that at this point I'm just as confused as you are. Pigs...can you imagine what's going through my mind right now?!) Okay, so I let him explain...see Travis is showing a calf and a pig at the fair this year. We don't have a pig. Yet. But soon we'll be purchasing one. And poor Jim apparently stayed up all night worrying about where we will keep this pig and what we will feed it. (Are you following me here? The dude's a farmer. He raised pigs all his life until about 5 years ago. He's worried about what to feed the pig. I suggest Prozac. For Jim, not the pig.) I'm reluctant to talk about the deodorant, but here goes. So, my deodorant hasn't worked to its full potential lately. (I hear ya...thanks for sharing.) But seriously, it was eatin at me so I decided to find something stronger. And I did. Secret Clinical Strength. This is no ordinary deo by the way. My first clue was when the directions say to apply it before bedtime only. And only two clicks worth. And absolutely, positively don't apply it anywhere else on the body. hmmmm. Dare I? Amazingly enough, no sweat the entire next day. Even after showering, working out...nuthin. So I share the story with a friend. But my friend reminds me that the most active ingredient "aluminum" is "said" to cause increase in cancer/Alzheimers, and other good stuff. oh. well that changes the attraction to the deo. My friend tells me I could rub crystals on my pits instead. whatever. Did you know that Australians pronounce "aluminum" much different than we do? go figure. Well, my soccer prayers were answered. Practice has been rescheduled to tonight. Meaning....I get to see tip-off tomorrow night! Stay tuned. Let me leave you with my new favorite quote from Flushed Away: "Honestly, me bum looks like the Japanese flag." (use your imagination.) Will I have to cook supper tonight?
8 ball says MOST DEFINITELY.