Resources!

I've stumbled across some really cool resources for moms and dads. The first is a podcast called KidsWifeWorkLife. It's a great resource for families. Straight talk about tv watching policies, health issues, book recommendations, you name it! I found a wonderful resource on the podcast....a website called kids-in-mind.com. It gives movie reviews to help you decide the appropriateness for your kid's age level. Wonderful considering I've thought about taking Brett to see TMNT and am not sure of it's content.

Okay, successfully on DAY 4 of Weight Watchers. My stomach has just now started growling from lack of junk food. Amazingly enough, I haven't stabbed anyone, snarfed down an entire box of Krispy Kremes, or cried uncontrollably. However, it is only Day 4. My personal goal for the week is to avoid using too many of my 35 "extra" points because I'm going out with the gals on Friday night and I want to bank points so I can enjoy one deliciously frozen margarita. It's my treat that I'm looking forward to and using as my goal to stay on task. It's like dangling a carrot in front of my face, only it's a frozen one and it tastes like tequila and peach. [insert sigh here.]

Have I said yet how much I love Netflix?! It's wonderful! It's like direct deposit, or pay-at-the pump. It's brilliant. This is coming from someone who nearly had to take out another mortgage to pay for late fees on returned movies. NO LATE FEES!!!!! And it's kind of fun to get the movie in the mail....it ranks up there with a birthday card but not quite like a check for $100. The kids love it too. The selection is so vast that we've been able to see movies we've always wanted to see and note have to camp overnight at the local Eudora grocery store for someone to return the movie.

I'm simultaneously checking email and NO I don't need viagra or cialis, and NO I don't have a breach in my paypal account, and NO I don't want to invest in offshore prescriptions. Can someone just please send me a funny joke.

I'm really glad it's the middle of the week. As opposed to the beginning of the week. But not quite as good as the end of the week. Friday I get to wear jeans and here in the office that's like gold right now.

Wishing you all a happy hump-day....Great song...."Galveston". Google it.

Will I get a run in my hose today?
8-ball says: Don't count on it. [YES!!!!]

SOMEONE FIND ME SOME SUGAR!!!!!!

I've only been on Weight Watchers for TWO DAYS (this being the second day), so technically a day and a half and I'm already going nuts for sugar and chocolate. I'm eating my 94percent fat free popcorn so fast that my cube neighbor thought I was running the vacuum over here.

I know it's been awhile since posting. But hey, give a girl a break. I've been busy. Not to mention looking longingly at the sunshine outside and wishing I was out there instead of in here.

So, what have I been up to....hmmm....nothing productive or earth shattering. Travis and Brett had a conversation in the church parking lot the other day (I found out later) about what "t*sticles" really are. It went something like this:
"Hey Brett, stop punching my t*sticles", "What are t*sticles Travis", "you know, your weiner." Someone please tell me that all this body-part talk is part of a growing boy's vocabulary. I need some reassurance. Especially since a new couple attending our church overheard the whole thing and felt obligated to tell me that my boys have a way of "telling it like it is". It was my fault for asking them what they meant since I hadn't heard the conversation myself. Of course the rest of the day was spent listening to Brett quietly repeat the "t" word to himself and giggling. And me trying desperately to explain why it isn't necessary to keep talking about it, especially AT CHURCH! I guess that's the price you pay for living on a farm and knowing the proper anatomy of bulls and cows.

Tracy is having issues with what she wants to be when she grows up (she's 7). She "really just wants to be a mom and take my kids to the pool and stuff but there are so many things I like to do and I just don't know how to choose, like painting and cooking, and animals and i'd really like to work in a flower shop and have a husband and 3 kids, mostly girls and i'll take them to the park and........." I tend to zone out at about this point. Sounds like I'll be saving up for her college M.R.S. degree.

Well, I'm down to the half-popped kernels so I think I'll sign out and track down a Diet Coke....

Wisdom from 8-ball:
Will I ever get my summers off again?
8-ball says: Not in this lifetime!!!!!!!!!!!

Bad Shrooms.

I'm starting off with the story on how I supposedly tried to kill my husband with bad shrooms. A friend of ours came to our door with a sack of small spring morels he had found in the woods. We LOVE morels. So I soaked them overnight in salt water, cleaned them and fried them the good ol' fashion way. They were delicious going down! But about 2 hours later Jim had the most gut-wrenching, gag-inducing heaves you could imagine. In all the years I've known him, I can only remember him throwing up twice. This didn't even classify as merely throwing up. I mean, I thought I heard pigs squealing. Nope, it was Jim. I never got sick. But he accused me of poisoning him. So, I spent about a good hour online identifying the shrooms and clarifying that we indeed did NOT ingest fake morels. Long story short, it ends up he had a touch of the flu. Same flu his brother had three days before. And his nephew had a couple of days before that. So, I'm in the clear...this time ; )

We had an active Easter! The usual: church, decorating boiled eggs, frosting cookies, blowing eggs to fill with confetti to throw at each other in the yard....you know, usual stuff. It was chilly enough at noon that we had one egg hunt in the tractor shed. Woohoo....

So I have one gripe today. At least one I'm sharing. Fancy clothes. Professional clothes. Couple professional dress attire with the fact you've gained 20 pounds since the last time you wore pantyhose. What you end up with is a need to wear a girdle so that your blouse buttons don't gape. But guess what? Girdle and all, the buttons on my blouse have popped open every time I change positions. Get up to get a drink....pop. Go to the bathroom, pop. Turn around to answer someone's question...pop. I now sympathize with Tracy. The other night we were watching Bring it On All or Nothing. Every other commercial was for Weight Watchers. After about the third commercial break Tracy has a meltdown and says dramatically: I HATE SCHOOL, I HATE THE BABYSITTER'S AND I REALLY HATE WEIGHT WATCHERS COMMERCIALS! She pretty much sums it up right there. I laughed at what she said, but honestly, she's pretty much on the money!!! Oh, and did I tell you that earlier this week my khakis burst open at the zipper. They just don't make clothes like they used to. (Sounds good anyway!) I don't think it had a thing to do with the cream cheese filled donut I ate for breakfast. That is after I had a bowl of Frosted Flakes...and yogurt.

Okay, now I'm depressed. Excuse me while I go eat a package of double stuff mint oreos.

Playing on my pod right now: Alan Jackson-A Woman's Love
Today's hair style: Curly
What I should be doing: Placing ads in the magazine
Ate for lunch: Large #5 juice stop and a salt/butter pretzel
Tonight's agenda: Soccer practice Will muumuus be in this summer? Eight ball says: Don't count on it!

What's in a name?

Ya know, back in the day, when all the local guys would hang out at our farm, I had nicknames like "Blondie, Sunshine, Hot Stuff...you get the point". Well, in the past two days, our neighbor (who is spending more time at our place than his own) has taken to affectionately calling me "Mama Neis". Oh yeah, now there's a hot nickname baby...hot like when I'm wearing a baggy t-shirt and cutoff sweats with my flip-flops, standing at the sink washing dishes with a sloppy pony-tail and no makeup, yelling at the kids to get dressed and stop fighting over that darn video game or I'm going to throw it in the dumpster outside kind of hot! I mean, if we're going with the Mom theme, why couldn't I be called something like "Zen Mom"....now that's cool! Of course if I say that to Jim he'd just say "What the @%$#'s wrong with you Mary Jane?" Like duh, you just answered your own question!

Okay, so I'm like up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick today. Let me give all you moms out there with one child a little advice. Do NOT go all Martha Stewart on classroom treats for your first kid. Reason no. 1: All other moms will hate you. Reason no. 2: You will FOREVER until the end of time be expected by the teachers and moms to come up with equally creative treats (including their presentation) for each and every treat day for every child you have. You think I'm joking?! NOT!!! These people watch you like hawks. ONCE I was too tired to fix anything creative and bought treats instead. Oh the tragedy! I was asked things like, "oh, have you been sick? What happened, did you have a death in the family? Have you been out of town".....for real. I kid you negative. Okay, so why am I up choco creek? Tomorrow is Brett's Easter party at preschool and guess who has to bring treats? So most of my surf time today will be trying to find a creative, all but quick, Easter treat.

Brett played his first soccer game of the season last night! He came 2 inches from making a goal! Okay, Jim says it was more like 12, but in the eyes of "Mama Neis" it totally grazed the net. I swear. And I love it when he gives me the thumbs up sign when he's on the field.

I finally have pics for you of our "projects". We let the kids name their own animals. The calves are Rambo, Frosty the Flake, and Sparky. I'll let you guess who named what. And the pigs are Blue and Rocky. (Notice the Stallone references?)

Well, happy hump day to all and I'll leave you with the bumper sticker I saw today: What Would Scooby-Do?

Magic 8-ball question for today:
Are Sponge-Bob and Patrick "special friends"? 8-Ball says: ASK AGAIN LATER...hmmm, closet door must be stuck.

Inappropriate language at lunch

Well, Travis got his name up at school yesterday for "inappropriate language at lunch". Anyone want to guess what he said? If you know his dad, you're probably thinking it has four letters and starts with f or s. WRONG. After MUCH goading, I got to the "bottom" of it. If you are opposed to inappropriate language, don't read the next two words: weiner and boobies. That's right. Sonny boy was having a conversation with his boy-clan at the lunch table when one of them decided to narc on him for the use of the above words. Whew! Was that a close one. I was waiting for something a little more harsh. So after a private little chuckle, I reiterated the fact that saying weiner or boobies at school probably wasn't the best thing.

I got the ball rollin' on the painting gig. It was fun, but a lot of work! The first phase involves the lettering for the store name. So it's a little more tedious and not as "creative". But I got a good start on it and used Frisket to make a stencil. Then I peeled the frisket off and am ready to do the inside of the letters. Then I got to drive home in torrential rain. Note the pics of my experience. One is me painting, one is the supplies I use....omg! Is that my butt?! It's HUGE! You know those cute little gals that go to KU and have "kansas" printed on the butt of their way-too-small shorts, and everyone thinks, wow, I'd like to go to Kansas! Well, my backside is big enough that my shorts would say "massachusetts". Emphasis on M'ASS.

Great success this morning...all three bottle calves decided to drink the milk bottles without rebellion. That cut my morning routine by at least 15 minutes! I'm including pics of the kids...Brett attempting a quadruple herky-jerky off the bike ramp, Travis showing that even boys can cook, and Tracy with Katelyn the she-beast rabbit.

That's all I've got for today. Hope all is well with you and enjoy the weekend!
Question: Is weiner a bad word?
8-ball says: NOT LIKELY (unless you are a lunchroom teacher)

I'm back.

Sorry for the delay. I've been in mourning. As you can see in the photo I've recreated of my sorrow (those tears are actually egg stickers from Dunn Bros. but very accurately display my grief of KUs loss). But I'm good now. No worries. My dental hygienist informs me that there are more KU fans in Tennessee than Tennessee fans. He knows this because he visited his friend there last week and enjoyed touring Nashville. I know this because I talk to everybody. Including Tony my hygienist. He's given me good tips on teeth whitening. Smart guy that Tony.

Well, we've added to our family. Sorta. All boys. Their names are Rambo, Sparky and Frosty. Bottle calves for the fair. Rambo and Sparky are from our herd. But Mr. Brett had some serious issues with not having his own calf. So Frosty was purchased at a sale in St. Marys. Scrawny little thing but Brett loves him and wants to keep him for his very own. I'd have posted pics today but while I was helping feed them I got goosed by Sparky and nearly fell into the water tank. Ever try taking pics while getting goosed by a 100-plus pound calf? Didn't think so.

Well, the mural painting gig starts tomorrow night! I'm actually kind of excited. I'll let you know if I feel the same way after my first whack at it. How hard could it be, right? I mean, it's just like coloring...only bigger. Riiiigggght.

My coffee sucked this morning. No really. We take turns buying the brew for each other and my m.o. is non-fat chai latte. Chai latte. Not latte, hold the chai. This morning I took a big swig of the swill and it was not chai. Nasty. Plain ol' latte. I gave it to Bunny. She was cold and thought it would knock the chill out of her. I'm glad because it nearly knocked the willies out of me. It's crazy how dependent I am on coffee. I have withdrawals on the weekend. It's like crack. Only you drink it. And it gives you bad breath. So here's a tip. Use lip gloss from Bath and Body works. It comes in all kinds of those cool flavors you could get in jr. high. Only it's more sophisticated. And you can use it as a breath freshener too. I have it in Hot Cinnamon, Caramel Apple, Very Cherry, and Sweet Black Cherry. But I'm not addicted to it. And it doesn't work as well for the guys because it's really shiny. And you know what they say about guys with shiny lips!!!! They use lip gloss!!!

I can't wait to get home today. I have so many exciting wonderful things waiting for me! Like planting potatoes and onions, washing dishes, folding clothes, cleaning up rabbit poo and maybe, if I'm really good, I can clean out the refrigerator. I am SO lucky. But don't hate on me. It's taken me almost 40 years to get to this point...and two college degrees. So hang in there....your moment of glory is coming!

Well, until next time...may you enjoy the March winds and don't forget to fly a kite this month!!!!!!

Wisdom to live by:
Is gray really a color?
8-ball says MOST DEFINITELY!

Go to your room!

Dats right. Mama got sent to her room last night. For screaming at the tv. Jim says I was getting to passionate about the Hawks last night. SO I put my tail between my legs and scurried to the bedroom to watch the game on our grainy old-school tv. I couldn't even make out the difference between the ball and the players heads....but I didn't care. I'm stubborn enough that I held out until the last minute of the game. Then I sucked up my pride and headed back to the big screen to watch the win. I figured by then I could scream all I wanted because if I got sent back to my room it would be well past the end of the game and I just wouldn't care. SO there MR. You're Too Loud - anti-Jayhawk loving guy.


Then we stayed up to watch the other games. How bout them Tennessee boys? I was rooting for them to stuff UCLA until Jim made a point that if they win, then all those 3 point hitting monsters would be playing against us on Saturday. Which is worse? I guess we'll find out Sat. night. We rescheduled our "date" for tonight so that we can scream our curses in private on Saturday at home. That means I'm rushing home asap today to clean before the sitter gets there. The things we do for our Hawks.


How many of you out there think some of the players should cut their hair? Am I showing my age? Do I sound nearly 40? Com'on boys, shave that mop (Noah likey the haira). And Julian....stop carving crop circles in your head. And how old is Oden? It should be Olden.


Okay, done with the BBall. And thank you KU for making my night!

Have I shown you my sticker collection? Seriously. I have a display workin in my office. After praying to the Dunn Brother gods each morning, I save the sticker from the lip-sucky part of the lid and stick it on my overhead storage. I'm trying to spell my name with them. Keep in mind, as sad as it is, each sticker represents about 3 dollars. Now THAT is depressing. But it's my one vice (okay, the one I'll admit to) and so I allow it. The pic is in reverse because that's how I write....I write backwards. And sometimes upside down. Don't believe me? Ask my co-workers. They've accused be of being the spawn of the devil. But on the contrary, I am a highly evolved species and some day they'll understand. I also know the secret to the Great Pyramids and the Myan Empire. And I like grapes. And one more thing for all you boys out there....Salma Hayek is pregnant and you are NOT the father. (Felt like Montel Williams there for a minute!)


It's amazing what coffee will do to you in the mornings. Happy weekend all and I'll leave you with words of wisdom from the 8-ball.....


Will I eat the last cupcake sitting in the lounge that is two days old?
8 ball says ASK AGAIN LATER....